Diamond bullets make police costs soar!

Diamond bullets make police costs soar!

German Polizei

German Polizei

Since German police forces made deals with the Antwerp diamond industry to forge diamond bullets, their costs have raised higher than ever before! Tax money isn't sufficient anymore to cover the ever rising cost. So now it even seems like German citizens are going to have to pay every last euro from their pockets to secure police protection for their country.

Edward Carlton, German federal police spokesman told us the following:
"If we are to face hard-headed people, we will need harder and stronger bullets. If we are to face even more hard-headed people, we will need diamond bullets. Diamond wasn't the first thing that we came up with, we went on the internet with the entire force to look for the strongest natural material on earth. And we came up with Spider-Silk and Diamond. We couldn't really get diamonds back then so we started to make spider-silk bullets. You probably won't believe it, neither could we, but the spider-silk bullets didn't do a lot of damage... That's when the Antwerp diamond industry contacted us, and they were so kind to offer us a fine deal on diamonds."

One of the Diamond Bullets

One of the Diamond Bullets

Since the force started using diamond bullets, criminal numbers have soared to unknown highs. And police men tend to cause more criminality than prevent or solve it. Everywhere the police goes people start to rob, murder, rape and vandalize in hopes they get shot with a precious bullet. Criminals who manage to get shot travel to Antwerp where they sell the bullet back to the diamond industry. One guy managed to get shot by 9 bullets after he murdered 19 children in a classroom. He now lives in Mexico as a billionair.

When asked what they were going to do about this the police force had no comment.

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